Grief and Loss

You were once living your life, like everyone else around you.

It was filled with familiar activities and emotions – frustrations over the unexpected, busyness with your work, laughter at a funny video or meme, shuffling your kids between activities – normal life.

Then, it all came to a screeching halt.

The loss happened, and suddenly, nothing makes sense anymore. The bottom of your world dropped out, and you fell out of your normal life into a dark pit.

You feel lost, bewildered, sad, depressed, and confused – plummeting into the pit.

You look up from the bottom and see all the people busy with their lives, as you once were. It feels shallow compared to the pain you feel now.

Did you really once live like that?

How could you have been so upset over things that now seem so trivial?

Have you ever had someone knocking at your door when you wanted to be alone?

You haven’t invited anyone over, nor are you expecting anyone to stop by…who can this be?

Maybe you ignore the knocks. Surely, they will just go away if you don’t answer.

But what if they stayed and continued to knock?

Would you reluctantly open the door or keep ignoring the knocks?

Grief can feel like an unwanted guest knocking at your door.

You may try to ignore it, but it keeps knocking louder and louder, refusing to be ignored.

When you lose someone important to you, your grief can feel like a forced houseguest who intends to move in and reside with you for a while.

You’ve already lost so much – do you really have to allow this guest to reside with you for an indefinite period?

You didn’t choose the loss. You didn’t agree to have your loved one taken from your world. No one asked you if it was okay for this monumental change to be forced upon your life.

So, can’t you choose if you will allow your grief to come inside your heart and live with you until it decides to depart?

The truth is that grief WILL find its way into your world, one way or another. But you can choose when and how you let it into your life.

So how do you cope?

Do you delay or allow?

You can choose to delay facing your grief by engaging in denial. You can tell yourself that you’re fine, no one is knocking, you don’t have to deal with this, you can’t change what happened – so why think about it?

You keep yourself very busy, allowing yourself no time to be still and quiet. You could continue like this for years, but eventually, you’ll have to stop, and the grief will catch up with you. If you continue to avoid the pain, your grief will become complicated. It will seep into other areas of your life, creating complex problems that can damage relationships that are important to you.

Or you can open the door and allow the grief to enter your inner world.

This means you confront it, feel it, talk about it, and work through how the loss affects and changes your life.

You can’t rush or control it, but you can choose to work through the pain it brings.

There are many different types of losses.

And there are a variety of ways we experience grief.

The loss of a significant person and the loss of a job or possession are extremely different in affecting our lives.

But the one thing all losses have in common is that they involve us adapting and adjusting our lives to an undesirable, sometimes devastating, change that is required of us.

No matter what type of loss you are experiencing, I would be honored to help you work through your grief.

In our sessions, we will process your feelings of sadness, longing/heartache, anger, hopelessness, fear, and any other feelings you might be experiencing.

We will also explore the what-ifs that weigh heavily on your mind…” what if I could’ve prevented it” or “what if I did something different” or even “what if things never get better.”

We will also address what was left unfinished or unresolved when the loss occurred, and we will look at how the loss has changed your life.

As a counselor, I have years of experience and specialized training in grief counseling. I will help you establish a personalized grief plan, including working through applicable grief worksheets/workbooks, journaling, art therapy, and completing other writing exercises to help you process your grief.

Climbing out of the pit…

Slowly, you will begin to notice some of the heaviness lifting from your soul.

It won’t be easy, and it will take time, but you can climb out of the dark pit. Your life won’t be like it was before your loss – you will be changed, altered from who you once were.

Suffering has a way of transforming our lives, but this doesn’t mean the change has to be negative. Who you become depends upon how you process your pain and grief.

You don’t have to climb out of the pit alone. Let’s do it together.

Reach out today by phone or text: (972) 727-0044 or by email: deanna@emergeanew.me.